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clashing lies and clashing thighs.

clashing chasing changing minds...

6/10/08 12:45 am - sometimes, my mind gets oddly carried away.

don't ask. don't ask. i have no clue what this is or why i typed it out on a blank word document (or why i even opened said document to begin with) a few minutes ago. but here, here it is in all of it's random, unplanned glory.

it's not a lot that i
can be so grateful to
hold the knowledge in
my tiny little
heart
can say that i've
met someone who i
can calmly fall asleep beside
after
going our separate ways, running face forward into each other in the shadows.

5/14/08 11:26 pm

Have I been blind this entire time, oblivious to my body and its natural reactions, or just in fear of fully sinking into the intoxication that it brings?

Sharing different heartbeats
In one night

5/3/08 10:37 pm

I never thought I'd return, but here I am again.

I am idiot drug hive, the virgin, the tattered and the torn
Life is for the cold made warm and they are just lizards
Self-disgust is self-obsession honey and I do as I please
A morality obedient, only to the cleansed repented

I am staying in tonight instead of spending it with you but I am not afraid.

I am stronger than Mensa, Miller and Mailer
I spat out Plath and Pinter
I am all the things that you regret
A truth that washes that learnt how to spell

Though the wind blows and their is an unseasonable chill in the air, I am still not afraid, my love. I am beginning to feel the clam in the storm.

Sleep can't hide the thoughts splitting through my mind
Shadows aren't clean, false mirrors too many people awake
If you stand up like a nail then you will be knocked down
I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else


Tears drip down my face in tidal waves. The keyboard suffers, your instant message on the monitor flashes. You are awake. I am reborn.

I am stronger than Mensa, Miller and Mailer
I spat out Plath and Pinter
I am all the things that you regret
A truth that washes that learnt how to spell, learnt to spell

1/3/08 06:27 pm

He's on a plane from Bombay to Brussels. From there he'll fly to Newark and finally to Atlanta. I'm sitting here in a hotel room in Rome, wishing I were in his arms rather than getting drunk off of red wine and painting my nails with my cousin. Most of my tomorrow will be spent on a plane flying back home. Ciao, Roma. Ciao.

I love and can't wait to return home to this little cat.

12/20/07 01:00 am

    I've been neglecting LJ for Xanga lately. I made a new Xanga recently and it has been my only used dump for ramblings, daily updates, pictures, etc. etc. Here I am, once again deciding to get back into the LJ world.
    Tonight my boy and I went to the Olive Garden to celebrate his twenty-second birthday. We stuffed our faces with salad and bread sticks (well, mostly bread sticks) and then stuffed our faces some more with our entrees. I had chicken and gnocchi Veronese and he had shrimp scampi. My dish wasn't the best to be honest because my nonna always made THE BEST gnocchi and I was overcome with extreme nostalgia upon tasting it. Oh well, the food was better than decent and I could seriously live on decently made Italian food for the rest of my life without getting tired of it.
    So, from there we we went to Perimeter and shared a gingerbread latte as we messed around on computers and ipods at the Apple store and then spent time cuddling and drinking the rest of our vanilla rum. Now I'm home listening to Janelle Monet and trying to decide between reading some Plato and Socrates or taking a bath and reading Pedro Paramo. Blah.

Just... randomness...

-walking barefoot upon
unmarked monuments
covered by
the ever growing
civilizations of
another.
buried by
the ever changing ways
of mother nature.
i am
crossing the unmarked paths
of my ancestors
both Native and European.
my history, beneath my feet.

-If I leaned out the window of my car and kissed you as the wind blows your hair and turns your cheeks pink would you feel more opted to hop in the passenger seat and ride with me around town as the sun goes down and the night crawlers retreat to the streets to puncture the necks of the innocent in the quietly lit cafes lining the black cement streets as the town becomes a neon lit circus of perverted festivities?

11/19/07 09:11 pm - it's crazy... the things that run through our minds when our bodies are entwined with another's.

trapped inside the caves of my mind, thoughts racing through dark tunnels.
i'm channeling you, please satisfy my SOS. stir up my mind, stir up my body.

11/17/07 09:00 pm

Everything in life is temporary.
So if things are going good,
enjoy it because it won't last forever.
And if things are going bad,
don't worry because it won't last forever either.

11/15/07 09:23 pm

Ten in the Swear Jar was brilliance that morphed into something not nearly as brilliant (IBOPA) which finally morphed into something miraculous (Xiu Xiu)

11/15/07 07:29 pm

Shopping was a success. Both of my major presentations for school went well. The boyfriend and I are still cute. I just wish I weren't drowning in end of the semester assignments. I just wish the work would end and I could have some more time to sip tea and write poetry about the beauty in the leaves falling from the trees this magical season.

11/12/07 03:45 pm

I really can't wait to get this week over with and enjoy whiskey and Coke this coming weekend.
I also really can't wait to go shopping this afternoon, because I have the longest list of clothes and accessories that I am yearning to own and I really don't care how much I end up spending. There's something about fall that makes me feel this way.

10/31/07 10:33 am

him: i cant get over how cute you are
him: elf face

=)

10/30/07 10:21 pm

Things to do before I drive myself crazy with self loath:
- Work out more (Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays before I go out.. WHENEVER POSSIBLE!)
- Drink more water (also drink ginger/lemon/honey/garlic tea as much as possible)
- Eat healthier
- Cut back on smoking, especially while drinking/partying
- Rearrange my desk so that I'll actually feel like studying at it
- Stick to a routine of exfoliating and lotioning daily, also keep up a habit of keeping my finger and toenails painted
- Cut back on coffee consumption daily/weekly
- Continue to allow myself AT LEAST 7 1/2 hours of sleep a night


10/21/07 09:46 pm

"Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run; but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant." - Hunter S. Thompson

There is this distinct pleasure in brewing fresh lemon, honey, ginger, and chamomile tea on chilly fall nights that makes me feel undeniably alive, undeniably well. This guilty pleasure which deserves no guilt, this vitamin enriched elixir fuels my overdriven body with nutrients, and calms my tired mind.
 

10/9/07 07:04 pm

Cooking Portabello mushroom and cheese tortelloni in a garlic, parsley, and butter sauce while listening to Billy Joel's "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant" to take my mind off of the insecurities that never fail to flood my mind at the most random, inconvenient times.

10/3/07 11:13 pm - this is why i like to walk barefoot in nature.

stop.
feel the wind in your hair,
the sun on your face,
the dirt between your toes,
and the ground beneath your feet.
you are free.

10/3/07 10:21 am - Cansei De Ser Sexy's "Art Bitch"

My art is called egocentric soft porno
or maybe it's just narcisism
my one and only subject
goes from something like anything but
me ism

wouldn't it be easier for Beardsley
he could drop the paintings
and photograph his penis
or take pics of the chicks
yeah, you know what i mean
wouldn't it be easier for Escher
he could drop the marh
and make it happen on his matress
2 girls and a cam
3 girls and a cam
put a dog there and you got polaroid scam

I ain't no art-ist
I am an art-bitch
I sell my paintings to the men I eat
I have no port-fo-lee-o
cuz I only show
where there's free al-co-hol

I am so hardcore
I sell my crap and people ask for more
call me re-vo-lu-tionaire
I poo on a plate and get it published on Visionaire
what i do, it's called art-shit
and don't you dare make fun of me
cuz everything i do was featured on the pages of ID

I ain't no art-ist
I am an art-bitch
I sell my paintings to the men I eat
I have no port-fo-lee-o
cuz I only show
where there's free al-co-hol
I ain't no art-ist
I am an art-bitch
I sell my paintings to the men I eat
I have no port-fo-lee-o
cuz I only show
where there's free al-co-hol

lick lick lick my art-tit
suck suck suck my art-hole

I ain't no art-ist
I am an art-bitch
I sell my paintings to the men I eat
I have no port-fo-lee-o
cuz I only show
where there's free al-co-hol

10/1/07 11:24 pm

With respect to my boyfriend and his family following the death of his grandmother, I am going to be a vegetarian for the next thirteen days.

9/29/07 05:06 pm

wait, they don't love you like I love you.

9/27/07 12:21 am - Two massive assignments down. One massive test to study for.

Looks like I'll be passing out at some point while sleepily scribbling possible test material on note cards tonight. It also looks like I'll be the little Irish/Native American girl navigating my way through campus patrol and your average college student body (aka. everyone from teens-80) whilst dragging my weak and tired body towards the Seattle's Shittiest (excuse me, Best!) which is so conveniently located on the bottom floor of the building in which my first class is in tomorrow.

Side note: If you know any fun, catchy, upbeat tunes that you'd like to recommend to get me through the day tomorrow... please do so!

9/19/07 10:22 pm

College has its ups and downs, currently there are more ups than downs but I'm trying to be as prepared for whatever comes my way as well as possible.
Friends and boyfriend are great.
Family is the usual, a functional mess.
I've been listening to The Police, The Books, MR. Old Dirty, and Deep Dish religiously.
When I'm not studying, with my boyfriend, or partying with friends then I'm definitely doing Sudoku. It has become a sadly addictive habit that I'll never drop.
Just know that I've been enjoying my roller coaster of a life.
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